Nobody likes to think of losing their spouse, as it’s one of the hardest things to face in life. It’s a time filled with overwhelming emotions, and on top of that, there are practical things you’ll need to handle, which are undeniably stressful.
To help out, we’ve prepared this list to guide you through the immediate things to focus on, giving you some direction during this incredibly difficult time.
Notify Close Family and Friends
In the unfortunate situation of your spouse dying, one of the first things you’ll need to do is let close family members and friends know what has happened. Obviously, this is not an easy task, so it’s okay to ask someone you trust to help you make these calls. However, sharing the sad news is important, as it will not only inform people but also give you a support system as you process your grief.
Contact Your Spouse’s Doctor
If your spouse was under the care of a doctor, it’s important to notify them about the passing, as they might not be aware. The doctor may need to sign the death certificate, depending on the circumstances, and they can also answer any medical questions you might have or provide guidance on the next steps.
Obtain the Death Certificate
It might not be the first thing on your mind, but after the death of your spouse, you’ll need to get copies of the death certificate fairly quickly. Why? Well, this document is crucial for handling many tasks, such as closing accounts, claiming life insurance, or settling the estate.
To make things easier, start by asking the funeral home or the doctor for guidance on how to get it. Be sure to request multiple certified copies, as you’ll likely need them for different purposes. Trust us–having this document on hand will save you time and frustration later, especially when dealing with legal or financial matters that require proof of death.
Arrange for Funeral or Memorial Services
There’s no denying that planning a funeral or memorial service can feel overwhelming, but it’s an important part of honoring your spouse and finding closure. To make your life easier, we’d recommend reaching out to a funeral home to discuss options or leaning on family members or friends to help with the planning.
Think about what your spouse would have wanted and consider involving loved ones in the process, which could turn it into a more dignified process.
Notify Their Employer
If your spouse was still working at their time of death, it’s your responsibility to inform their employer about their passing. Start by contacting the human resources department and asking about any benefits your spouse may have had, such as life insurance, unpaid wages, or a retirement account.
Contact the Social Security Administration
If your spouse was receiving Social Security benefits, you’ll need to notify the Social Security Administration. You may also be eligible for survivor benefits, so it’s worth asking about what support is available to you. You can start this process by calling the SSA or visiting their website for guidance.
Secure Important Documents
Even though paperwork isn’t likely to be on your mind, take some time to gather and secure important documents related to your spouse. For example, you’ll likely need their will, insurance policies, birth certificate, or military records if applicable, all of which documents will help you work through the legal and financial steps ahead.
Notify Banks and Financial Institutions
Never forget the importance of reaching out to your spouse’s bank or other financial institutions upon their death. You’ll need to let them know about your spouse’s passing and ask what documentation they need to update accounts or close them. In this instance, you’ll likely need to provide a death certificate, so have that ready when you make the call.
This is also a good time to check if there are any joint accounts or automatic payments that need to be addressed. Try to stay calm, as the bank will guide you through the process, making it a bit easier to handle these financial details.
Cancel or Transfer Accounts
While we’re on the topic of finances, remember to go through your spouse’s accounts and cancel or transfer them as needed. Typically, this will include utilities, credit cards, subscriptions, or memberships. Some accounts may allow you to transfer them to your name, while others might need to be canceled entirely.
Settle Any Outstanding Debts
It might sound morbid, but it’s going to be your responsibility to review any debts your spouse might have had, such as loans, credit card balances, or mortgages. Contact the lenders to inform them of the death and ask about the next steps. In many cases, debts are handled through the estate, so it’s important to understand how that process works.
However, if you’re unsure, consider speaking with an attorney or financial advisor who can guide you through it.
Reach Out to an Estate Attorney
Even if your spouse had a will, working with an estate attorney can still help you handle the legal aspects of their passing, as they’re infamous for being quite difficult. Thankfully, an attorney can guide you through probate, explain your rights, and ensure the estate is settled properly. Seriously–if you’re feeling overwhelmed, this professional support can make a big difference.
Update Your Insurance Policies
Another thing you’ll need to do immediately when your spouse dies is review and update any insurance policies, including life, health, and auto insurance. Let the providers know about your spouse’s passing and ask if any changes need to be made to your coverage. Obviously, this will be particularly important for life insurance.
Update Your Beneficiaries
Next up, make sure that you review any accounts or policies where your spouse was listed as a beneficiary, including retirement accounts, life insurance, or investment portfolios. Updating these designations ensures that your wishes are carried out in the future.
Obviously, this will be tough to think about considering the circumstances, but it’s a surprisingly simple yet important step that can save your loved ones from legal complications down the road.
Inform Utility Companies
As we briefly mentioned earlier, if your spouse’s name is on any utility accounts, you’ll need to contact the providers to update or cancel them. Services such as electricity, water, gas, internet, or phone plans are all included here, so give them a call and let them know about the passing, asking them what steps are needed to make the changes.
It might not sound urgent, but addressing this sooner rather than later can prevent disruptions in service or unnecessary charges. It’s just another small step in getting things settled during this challenging time.
Consider Grief Counseling
Moving on to looking after yourself, it’s important to keep in mind that losing a spouse is a deeply emotional experience, so it’s okay to seek help to navigate your feelings. We’d recommend grief counseling or support groups if you feel like you need a safe space to process your emotions and connect with others who understand what you’re going through.
Take Care of Yourself
Amid all the practical tasks, it’s so important to remember to take care of yourself. Grieving can be exhausting, both emotionally and physically, so make time to rest, eat, and care for your basic needs. Lean on loved ones for support and don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it. Try not to fall into destructive coping mechanisms such as alcohol or drug consumption, too.
Start Thinking About the Future
Finally, while it might feel too soon to focus on the future, taking small steps to plan ahead can help you regain a sense of control after the passing of your spouse. Obviously, this doesn’t mean you need to make major decisions right away—just start by considering what your next steps might look like.
This might involve figuring out your living situation, reworking your budget, or exploring new routines. Either way, taking things one step at a time will help a lot. Yes, life after loss will look different, but finding ways to move forward at your own pace is part of the healing process.